Thursday, June 3, 2010

In search for discipline

That 1min jump after 11:20 got my hopes high, but it was nothing. I shouldn't be in position but stopped out in the first place. This is tilting. Bright thing is that I made myself leave stop on that last hope trade, I wanted to move it. Unfortunately or fortunately I got stopped on bottom tick.

I will not allow myself this anymore. I simply need to learn to trade. Trading without stops, counting just on a feel isn't for me. Maybe my trading with stops will be absolutely unprofitable. I probably believe so, that's why I don't trade that way. I guess I will have to do it anyway. Maybe it will be constant bleeding. I guess that I'm at the point where that is more interesting and promising than this.

Size is going down, probably I will not put it up for a long time.

Maybe I do have profitable stretches but it's all on back of averaging and running high risk. As I talked with my trading buddy few days ago with that we can never know how good or bad do I trade. It's inconsistent and unmeasurable. This will not be easy for me, maybe it's even impossible. There is now so many years of this kind of trading that I don't know is change for me possible anymore.

Probably I will try to go down the path where discipline will become my new religion. Where exiting at preplanned point will be more valuable then profits. Only that kind of motivation, well some kind, can keep me tick.

-87 pips


De'Trader said...

Hi FX,

I exeperienced drawdown like you dozens of time. Once I made 87% winning ratio per month. All with averaging down, cut profit early. And" you already know what" my single day losses wiped out my 2 weeks gain. After that pain losses, I would strict to my Stop Loss. And because I am not used to using strict Stop Loss, of course I would be stopped out, adding streak losses and frustration mounted. I saw a dejavu in your post except the frustration part.

Maybe it sound crazy for you, but now I did exactly the opposite. Now, there's almost no day without losses. I cut losses very early. My winnig ratio dropped around 50%. Sometimes 5-10 losses in a row, still I could get green in the end.

Maybe you should experiencing the cutting loss frenzy. With micro lot, 10 pips SL. 100 pips losses worth $10 only. If it worked, then maybe it's worth to apply. If not working out, well, the education fee is not that big.

It's just my opinion. I am not a better trader than you. In fact, I am a bad trader. But sometimes changing perception is all we need to survive in this business.

Risk Control Master said...

DE: Do you increase your size when you lost 10 times? How do you get in the green at the end? Is it another 10 winner or 1 winner with big profit?

I'm in the same boat, just trying to see how people get out from it.

FX said...

Yeah De'Trader I know what you are saying and really think that all three of us here talking are pretty much similar traders, and had similar experiences.

How did your frustration go away? Having it after strings of losses. You got used to so many losses and cutting of losses that they are normal and acceptable part of your trading now?

I have frustration believe me, maybe I don't show it at blog that much because I don't want to vent that way here.
I'm not thinking about anything other then trading frustration last two days.

Yeah I see in your trading that part of 5-10 losses in a row and you do it with no problem like you half expect it to happen.

FX said...

I forgot to say that last month I tried just that one day as exercise, trade with small size and get stop out on every -10 pips or so. It wasn't bad experience. I believe that I need more right now to have firm decision to give up bad trading practices.

De'Trader said...

Actually the 5-10 losses was not a good entry. I kept fighting against the trend and after I picked the bottom, I just let my profit run. I add my position if the counter trend is good (scaling up). Most of the time it's 2 winner. 1 BEP, 1 profit.

To let the frustration go away, here's what I do. I backtested again my setup, like 5-10 days behind. Improve the rules, remake the SL and PT, tune up the entry. After I have a confidence setup, I just follow it like a stupid robot. No analysis, no thinking, no bias, just follow the setup. If it's failed, I backtested again until I found the right setup. The setup usually with a tight stop loss.

One more thing, I started 14 hours before US session opened. 4 currency watched. If the setup reliable, sooner or later, you will get a good entry

Risk Control Master said...

Agree with DE, the timeframe is very important, one good setup always works and it may not work at all in another timeframe, assia session is always choppy unless some key support/resist level is tested..and nowadays, eur session is just one schema, sell euro!

De'Trader said...

Agreed :)

Harvey said...

You can definitely learn to trade profitably with stops. Personally I started trading with size so small that I could make tons of mistakes without concern. Many charts I've posted months back look like insanity to me today.

FX said...

I feel stupid for wasting so many years on trading without real stops and even now I'm not sure how will I be able to do it knowing me so far. It's all probably lack of trust in myself that my trading with stops will be profitable. It's unconscious and it's root of all problems. Even if it isn't profitable it's my best shot.

Harvey said...

Yup, just look at a guy like forexbird. Its obviously do able. Not easy, but I personally think you've got it in you to be a great trader. I've followed your blog for a long time; before I was even blogging. I don't think you could continue the way you do if you didn't have it in you.

FX said...

Forexbird is for me a roll model in true sense of the word. Well if he can do it, it's doable. Thank you on your kind words about me, encouragement is very welcome in current situation.