Friday, June 18, 2010

From +30 to -150

I'm not mad or angry at myself, I just couldn't help it. I have understanding for myself because I know how I operate. It's better when I can prevent this on time, but this time I didn't. It would be beautiful if I cut loss around 860 but I sometimes stuck and keep all of position on. Late attempts to go long with bigger size are understandable also.
I can say that problem is in letting go my discipline path in last few days, or lack of satisfaction with great profit of +30. I don't want to speculate, it's all just one big mess. Where I try to achieve castles in the sky with trading. There's also question would I trade at all that I don't have that questionable motivation.

-151 half size pips


8 comments:

De'Trader said...

You're just the opposite of me, but the same disaster happened. I am very disciplined with SL, but very sloppy with entry. Meanwhile I think you're very disciplined in entry, but a little sloppy cutting loss.

I also lost my trading appetite. My setup busted out. All of them.
You still having profit in the upfront. Me, never saw a green light at all today.

Joel Pinto said...

This is what I think and also what you know: you really need to stop doing that or loses like this one will happen again... and more then one single time! And if you think about it, you will see that it is not that easy! Why don't you cut on the ammount of pips that you have as objective and raise the size of every operation!? If you folow your discipline you will be just great in that kind of trading!

Keep trying and improving... days like this one happens to everyone!

Risk Control Master said...

It's much better that you close everything at 810, I would hold on to everything and over the weekend, it will turn into a BE trade next Monday or get margin call out ...

Anyway, re-group and come back.

FX said...

RCM that is good point of view, true I never keep things overnight or more, in the end this blog is called forex INTRADAY trading lol.

Well Joel I will use answer to your comment to explain something to all of you. The thing with discipline and good trading, we all know what is needed to be done. But we somehow don't stick to it however strong decision we made.

My situation is like this.
I want to achieve success only to have a feeling that I'm successful. That means that I don't have that feeling in the first place and I chase it by chasing achievement of success. So today after I made nice profit at start I recognized that I don't feel successful and then I go and trade more not to do well, not to earn money but to feel success. And that chase for some imaginary feeling brought me where I ended my day.
That doesn't have to be pattern for others, but for me is that feeling of success that is important. For other it may be some other feeling.
In a harmonic world things are setup different way. There my point of view at the start of day isn't I'm unsuccessful and if I make money then I will be successful and could feel successful. It's just the opposite. I have success in myself in the first place and from that point I make it bigger and express it through good trading.
Whenever we expect from something outside of us to give us something that we think that we don't have like winning in trading-success, partner-love we fail because it's not how things work.

I don't know how clear I expressed myself and does it make sense to anyone who's reading. Because of my understanding of this problem I don't blame me so much for bad trading like today. It's out of my hands as trader when this problematic cycle kicks in. So there is no trading solution for it. Like hard stops, smaller size, discipline or whatever. That need for feeling overwhelms and we are powerless but to obey and chase ghosts. Only remedy is dealing with that problematic setup in our mind where we believe that something out of us will give us happiness, success, love or whatever. Understanding that it's futile to try to get feeling of success by achieving success when in the first place you feel unsuccessful. There is no point to feel unsuccessful in the start and then have a need to feel successful and do anything to achieve it. Things don't work that way. Until I'm passed that I will have days like this.

Ayumi said...

FX, I do a lot of self-talk during FX trading. I chase for the feeling of success, I want the feeling of being right. While I sometimes, are at the other side.

However, I believe the moment we recognise this pattern - we are able to minimize the 'self-sabotage' and improve.

I believe we can make it better.

FX said...

Ayumi thank you on sharing your experience. I agree and believe that we can make it better. True is also that with recognizing we can minimize bad behavior. Unfortunately on this day I came to understanding only later when I was thinking about it all.

Thomas Shawn said...

Been doing a seminar which my broker offers for free on "Psychological Capital" done by a psychologist and trader.

Her point are many but be sure, the feelings do influence your risk based decisions.

On another level, being dissatisfied by 30 pips gainers: It is is interesting to watch the capital curve of a system with positive expectancy. Over one year it creeps for 9 months and then as the lots increase over time, bouble every two months ... that 30 pip gaining system really adds up!

The question: Do I have the psychological capital to be patient during those 8-9 months, maintain the system and stick to my guns.

FX said...

I am satisfied with 30 pips days except when I'm not :)