Friday, May 29, 2009

May 2009. results

+ 23 pips


This month was crazy struggle. I had problems trading with too small size and problems with being scared of bigger size. I have also problem when I approach near the break even level for the whole year, I get immediately back down in the hole.
In my positive days I win around 200 full size pips and in my negative days I lost around 180 pips. My losing days are big -80, -60, -40. Not all winning days are win with good trading. Sometimes senseless averaging works. Only thing that is making me to go on and not get insane are days when I trade exactly as I want. With reasonable loss points, clear game plan and understanding what are the reasons to take the trade. On my bad days I don't know what to do, I can see that there is action so I fly in usually going opposite of what I should. I don't cut losses and I let them go so much against me without any opportunity to came out positive. Well it's a miracle that I'm in the end positive for the month. Or, I'm doing at least something good. So those well played days are potential that I see in myself and why I keep pushing. Every very bad day have a point where it's opportune to just quit and try not to hold losers and finish with some reasonable loss. I lose control and do what I did hundreds of times, but now it's working less and less. Now I trade from the start with bigger amounts so I don't have enough margin to average hard like before. That is exact reason why I'm not putting more money into account.
Also I struggle with too small size because I let winners turn into bad losers because profit was never big enough. One time I had in the start of the day unrealized profit of 18 half size pips, it wasn't enough to take it. I finished the day at -166 half size pips. Emotional trading at it's maximum.

Swings from 50 pips up for the month down to -40 for a month next day. Then straight climb to 80 over several winning days, then back down to 20, climb to 50, back to 20.


Mike K. said...

So, how has your account changed from the beginning of the year, in percentages?

FX said...

At the end of May it was down -12.5%. But we got to put in perspective that I'm now using bigger leverage so today after 23 pips it's at -9%. I'm pretty much close to break even in pips, around 60 pips now.

The thing is that before I was using to small amount of dollars at risk for my comfort level. I decided to use bigger leverage rather to fund it more, in the end it's the same. I don't intend to use this kind of leverage in the future. But I need adequate level of dollars for win or loss, not to small.