January 2010. results

-91 pips

-15 %

Results are far worse then they look like because in last 4 losing days of last 6 days of trading I managed to lose -189 pips. Maybe I need this kind of reset time when I'm totally fed up with trading and disconnected from it. Maybe next time I could reset myself without first having a blow up.

Very bad day

I'm getting killed. Well, I'm killing myself. I'm not risk averse and just keep on losing. This is beyond tolerable levels. I'm -180 pips from start of this losing cycle. I have to stop now because I don't know what am I doing any more.
This is all trying to get out of the hole quick, consequence is that the hole is deeper.

-57 pips

Experiments

1. Eur/usd small profitable scalp.
2. Eur/usd short that hit my full stop. I could get out earlier but only few pips. I simply wanted to get red dot and be stopped out, the thing that I'm always scared of.
3. I noticed strength setup in gbp/usd and trade went very well. I started experimenting with leaving it on without my usual take profit instinct. After eur/usd started heavy sell off my gbp/usd returned to the entry. All 18 pips were gone. I got out so I don't make losing trade out of it.
4. and 5. Reaction trades first believing that eur/usd will drop very big and in gbp/usd quick entry to get back in profit. It didn't work out neither of them. It would be better if I didn't take them at all.

I was very angry after all of it, losing healthy profit and then some random stops. Great thing is that I was totally in control and didn't have problem in stepping away even though I was so so angry. It's not good to experiment when I'm in a hole in my overall p&l from that recent blow up. I should concentrate on careful scalping trade by trade, day by day.

-25 pips

Trading out of boredom

Again I'm doing stupid things. Playing around and then get burned. Some half size short in gbp/usd didn't work so I took long in eur/usd because it looked like it will pop. Soon enough I was deep in eur/usd loss. Average didn't work and I run out with little less then -40 loss. Good thing that I was telling myself - don't make another blow up. I was conscious enough. I took two more trades after to correct a mess. They worked and I'm finishing with -11.

I'm glad that I'm in a loss because trading out of boredom is more stupid than losing big in normal trading day. I need those situation that I don't want to help me focus on what I want.

-11 pips

Few scalps

Few quick ins and outs. Unfortunately on second gbp/usd trade I got out because of 10 a.m. EU news time so I missed following move. I didn't want some spike against me.

+13 pips

Day after

I'm feeling little depressed today, which is natural after yesterday. I always wonder how did it happen again, how did trading like that slipped in when I'm alert on most of my trading days and try to stay away from trouble. It's also funny how in middle of bad trading day when you are staying in a big loss and it's widening bit by bit you don't have mental power or any other that is needed to stop the nonsense. You just wish and hope and can't acknowledge the loss and reset things. At that point you are no longer trading but following tracks that are set before and you can't change direction. It's pretty much debilitating experience. I'm not any more new to trading and I know what can I expect. Maybe before I truly believed that staying long time in big losing trade is good for me because there is possibility of reversal. I don't any more and I know that it's better to get out and take fresh perspective and try to see in which direction to trade, or even better to step away and leave to other day opportunity to correct things.
Those blow up days are like some relics from the past with frame of mind totally different than my current usual one. Tiring.

I had one little trade, more to break my mental cycles about yesterday than anything else. Mike at Fxmadness had great post yesterday about profit targets. Today I had experience with my trade of guessing where will I get stop out when it didn't go my way at first. Is it -4, maybe -6 or -8. When things don't go your way but you also don't feel that you are wrong it's problematic where to give up. Especially when you are scalping and all is so close, getting stopped or getting profit. Maybe it's best to really stop wasting mental energy and let it hit my predefined -10 pips stop that is automatically set when I get in. Only when I feel that I'm truly wrong I should stop before it. For my kind of profits 4-12 pips usually there is no point in fine tuning, it's going one way or another.

Today I didn't leave my profit like yesterday's first trade, they were very similar.

+7 pips

Changing directions

I had around 8 pips unrealized scalp profit which I didn't take. It wasn't enough.
From there to -40 in next few trades. Then after the news I cut the loss with positive scalp to -22.
Then market changed direction again and I didn't.
End of day loss of -116 pips.
Good thing that I finally gave up because after my exit pound lost more that 40 additional pips and with my near double size it would be....

From time to time I get reminded why I scalp and why is 8 pips or 4 pips enough of profit. Because if I lose that open profit and some more day like this is high probability. Classical blow up day.

Slow and rangy

Break down didn't happen below previous 5min lows and I was slow on cutting loss. For second set of trades where I averaged I got help from eur/gbp that cleared 0.8800 so eur/usd fell. All in all movements where not readable for me or they were not typical. My idea was that we can get some action in early morning opposite to later when things could slow down because of US Bank Holiday, but there wasn't some real action.

+8 pips

Friday

First very slow market, later after EU news time some down side action.

+11 pips

Revision time

I started trading bad. Playing game that isn't mine and then taking higher risks. It's a combination of market without opportunities that suits me and me being bold and feeling invincibility on the back of success from past weeks.

My short didn't work for a long time. Finally instead of exit with a stop I averaged giving those two trades short leash stop. I didn't count in that after I get stopped out I would refuse to throw a towel. So I reshorted again with double size. I had already loss of -25 full size pips and was ready to lose at least 20 full size pips more.

Market movements in the end gave me what I needed to cover previous loss and gain a little. I would stay more but usd/jpy didn't move down in crucial moment to help this move and make really strong break down in eur/jpy.

I need to review what is going on with me. Yesterday was bad trading, today was also, it's not a way to go forward.

+9 pips

Volatility

Not so great, but turned out positive. It was volatile so first position was half size. Break out didn't work out. I had a thought of possible reversal of some magnitude at 8:48 when second attempt failed. I was stubborn and let it slide and averaged two times with half size trades. All advance was on the back of eur/gbp weakness few minutes prior to my entry. Now eur/gbp was there near lows holding but all European pairs fell against usd and I didn't rally believe in that move. That's why I stayed, nevertheless money management was poor. I was at lowest point at -30 full size pips and it could be worse.

+1 pip

Tuesday

Again early quit of staying in front of the charts. It always amaze me when I decide to quit with trading. Like am I allowed to do such a thing, is that a bad thing? It's contrary to ingrained habits of long hours when it comes to work. Well trading work day is over after an hour.

+13 pips

Monday

Few small trades/scalps in a quiet market.

+13 pips

I found nice quote from Ernest Hemingway via Maoxian's links. I also agree that it can be applied to trading.

"The best way is always to stop when you are going good and when you know what will happen next. If you do that every day … you will never be stuck. Always stop while you are going good and don’t think about it or worry about it until you start to write the next day. That way your subconscious will work on it all the time. But if you think about it consciously or worry about it you will kill it and your brain will be tired before you start."

Ernest Hemingway

Swing trading today

There was big move in jpy pairs with weaker jpy on some bank official comments. So consensus was that jpy will be weaker.
First entry was with half size in usd/jpy. Second in eur/jpy also half size. Eur after my entry started falling against usd and that didn't help my second trade. I was very long time in trades and finally when push above 93 started eur wasn't cooperating. My bet was that jpy will finally fall against all pairs and that big rally will come, but it didn't. It could be very profitable trade if it did.

+16 pips

Morning action

I saw little commotion in a gbp/usd that gave me conviction that it will break out. Two minutes later I was out with nice gain.
Second trade in eur/usd, I was late because I had idea of shorting at 39 when eur/gbp was starting to lose ground. First short was at 33, second 30, it was too far. I got nothing from it.

+15 pips

Mess

I'm so out of shape, out of feel, out of everything I need to have some chance in trading.
First in the morning I had so big urge to take some trade, so first one that was there possibly was mine. After entry it was 50:50 where will it head. I took my scalp profit on full size and moved away from screens.
Later I found out that down move materialized. I took small long with quarter size because I couldn't be sure where will down move stop. At first it moved my way and then suddenly drop 40 pips in 2 minutes. I averaged like intended but it didn't stop there. So next average trades were too close. Soon I had full size position. Only luck gave me profit before big possible loss. Idea was to have small swing trade and soon it was full size trade against the market direction, pretty much stupid.
In a meanwhile I had small full size scalp in eur/usd also.

In the end I did have profitable day, but I don't like this trading at all. I need to get in tune, preferably slowly without a mess.

+21

Useless trade

I obviously forgot that you can lose when you trade, so it's not optimal to enter without strong reason and edge.
-9 pips