February 2010. results

-42 pips

-10 %

This are results with pip size that I started the month. After one trade a day experiment I decided to go back to my known way of trading. Sometimes averaging, sometimes adding to position with smaller size of the trades then before. When I think about bad results that are following me from end of last year, my conclusion is that everything would fall in it's place if I did cut size immediately.
Back then after few very good weeks I had one bad day where I lost discipline that I had. I didn't recover mentally since then. I continued to trade with larger size but without discipline and that was bad for my mental attitude. I didn't like swings in dollar terms against me and I didn't want to cut size because it would take longer to recover.

Now I'm trading with smaller size and more loose. It's natural and I shouldn't even try to enforce hard discipline with this size. When we go to bigger size again things will straighten, but first I need to trade my way to there.

Thursday

I'm not really rational today. Carrying loss over GBP news time. It seams that I only want to play today. Trading forex isn't right medium for that, or it is perfect but later I whine why I lose much.

+5 pips

Wednesday

Nothing much to say except that it would be better if I closed third trade in some kind of stop. Scalp short didn't work and I made of it some other kind of trade. Average wasn't blind at that spot but it was risky with getting two trades on. Drop came from eur/gbp strength.

+23 pips ( 11 old size)

Old style

Back to old style of trading with some letting losses run, some averaging, trading by the feel etc. At least I was profitable and scalping wasn't that bad. I stopped when I felt tired of concentrating.


+33 pips (16 old size)

End to experiment

I don't like trading one trade a day any more. I miss trading. My attitude toward individual trade is different when I know it will be only trade in a day and that's not good. On some days I'm really into trading and there are nice opportunities and I can't participate. On others I don't want to trade but I do it because I want to use that day's trade. I don't close those trades if they are bad from the start because there isn't next one.

I'm still emotional and probably it's hard for me to control but I managed to lose control completely on one of those one trade a day trades so I didn't really gain a thing in risk management. So I will probably end this experiment. It's not bad, but it's not great either.

I will probably go ahead with cutting my size so maybe stress will be different because of that and I will be able to control myself. I somehow have feeling that it would be ok that way. Now I regret that I didn't cut my size before as measure of controlling height of emotions.

Saved by 1 trade a day rule

It was very hard after my loss for me to let it go. Purpose of one trade a day was justified today in full. I was really emotional and it was hard not to trade any more. In a sense today was a victory over emotions. Too bad that I don't feel victorious. I really, really wanted to trade, recover that loss. It's mix of regret that I had a trade in which I lost, that I put it on in first place and need to correct things. Need to stop feeling regret by winning amount that I lost. That is way that things work every time, I get lost in those emotions and in retrospect it's always digging deeper hole. I'm really against big bogeyman. So today had potential to be really bad day and it was cut in the root.
Trade itself was too early entry that was looking for break out that never happened. It would be far better if I entered with half size so loss would be smaller.

-15 pips

News trade

Finally trade opportunity that I like. There was nice reaction to GBP news, spread came back down quickly and I shorted half size. Later I add half size and that was a plan from the start if things go well, so I consider that as one trade. I didn't play out well after add on because it slowed down, I saw that I have some profit and I remembered yesterday so I didn't want to risk it. Ten more pips would be nice.

+9 pips

BS

This one trade a day thing doesn't prevent me being me. Pure gambling and pure BS and not trading. I wasn't ready to take small win today, I wanted big win. I was late in the morning for earlier entry, even on this I had 10 pips of profit. That should be enough because it wasn't advancing up for 30 minutes but small 10 pips.
Another problem is not having idea what to do when things turned bad. I knew that it's going down when 790 was broken around 10am. On 5min chart it looked ugly when that 20 pips bounce from 9.35 to 9.50 was gone. That would be natural stop if I wasn't using hard stops, -15 no big deal.
Instead I stayed in waiting GBP news time ??!!
I've put 100 pips stop on and gamble was there. In the end I got rational to get out of that madness because it didn't look promising for up side with eur/usd in downtrend and no big action after GBP news.

I don't have words to explain myself. I have a problem with refusing to lose on a trade.

-25 pips

Range

I moved stop on this trade so I'm not satisfied with that. Trade itself was more a wish for market to get out of the range then something that I saw in chart.

+2 pips

The beast

At the time usd/jpy was slowly drifting down. Eur/jpy looked like it could possibly break that 122.40 level and gbp was weak in eur/gbp and in usd/gbp. So I decided to have a trade in the beast. With US holiday prices move ugly today and I couldn't stand market not moving decisively in my favor especially having a trade in a gbp/jpy.

+3 pips

Scalp at work

Reasons for the trade were new support in eur/gbp that was in a middle of sell of and start of weakness in eur/usd after small bounce. So that were not good signs for gbp/usd that had mini rally previous and was around highs.

+13 pips

Attempt of break out

I'm satisfied with entry and I'm satisfied with exit. Eur/gbp was on the verge of breaking down in seconds, gbp/usd started continuation of prior move. That were all good reasons for scalp long. It started coming back after few pips and I was out. That trade should work immediately. It's somehow easier to close quick after few marginal pips of profit then when I don't get a profit at all in a trade and no movement in my direction.

-1 pips

Slow movements

Today was slow moving market with seconds between ticks and jumps when it moved. After entry I wanted to close it because it didn't move immediately. Big move was in eur/jpy. I closed my trade as fast as I could because I was suspicious of eur/usd moving back.
Funny thing that after the move I was watching closely will there be another opportunity in eur/jpy. Then I remembered that I'm not supposed to take another trade today, lol.

+6 pips

Too early

No good trade, jumped the gun, like I couldn't wait for proper break out if there is any. Real example why I should trade only one trade a day. I had real tough time to close this in a loss. Moved stops two times. Finally when it bounced I found enough sanity to minimize the damage and exit it with smaller loss then it was. What would I do after if I traded more, I wasn't disciplined on my first trade. You never know when you have loss is teens that it's great because it could be -50 or -100 day.

-16 pips

1trade a day #2

GBP news time didn't brought any action but slight strength of gbp against eur. Add to that retracement from the bounce highs on eur/usd and gbp/usd I choose long direction with half size trade to give myself stop of -20 half size pips.

+7 pips

Interesting experience

I was going for a break of previous low, unfortunately I wasn't by the screen few minutes before. My break didn't work, I should have probably close that loss much earlier but because that was my first 1 trade a day trade I left it until full stop was hit. I felt different with all of this. Like it's out of my hands which is true regarding the trade when you are in. Far better then fictitious feeling that with maneuvering with a stop and adding to a trade you can control outcome.
I think that with this 1 trade a day trading I will learn things that I'm missing. So even though it's a loss I have very positive experience. Some kind of pressure of not knowing what will I do next is off. I'm not emotional, I don't want to revenge trade, I can accept outcome of my trading whatever it is. Looking forward to next 1 trade a day trade.

-11 pips

1 trade a day

I was swimming laps in the pool and thinking about my trading after my terrible morning session. There is no escaping my childish ego and get rich quick wishes that drive my emotions and me with them. I can stop trading because it's obvious were this path is leading. To be honest I can't really do it any more sanely. It's really hard to do something that is against your judgment because you feel so emotional and don't have control over yourself. Do it over and over from day to day.
So I had an idea for a new plan. It has potential because my ego hates it as much it hates longer term trading. I can make only one trade a day. I start day pretty much rational and I wait for good opportunity. Before I would stop after few trades because I would lose myself after. Now I can't trust that any more to know when to stop, today is good example for it. So let's trade only trade a day. As I said my "ego" or something inside of me that is irrational and have it's own agenda doesn't like it because that plan doesn't provide me with opportunity to "get rich quick". I'm pretty much embarrassed to talk about those primitive motivation that I have and that controls my trading but if I can show all this "wonderful" trading I can show this also.

Few days ago people recommended to me that I trade more longer term. Truth is that it's too slow for spectacular results. Don't get me wrong, I don't get spectacular results this way either but I have feeling that I can. Big leverage and intraday moves could do wonders in a span of one day. Well at least it's my secret wish.
So I wrestle every day with myself and now I'm starting to lose the battle.
I don't know will I trade longer term but I know that I really like to scalp. So one trade a day will be just enough of what I can control be it a winner or a loser. I'm not positive yet will this be my plan of action from now on but I'm very close to it. My "ego" as I call it, doesn't like that idea because he losses his potential by that kind of trading. Well maybe "he" could go camp in some other area of my life because in trading I'm on the edge of quitting as things are standing now.

So, if one trade a day is all I can handle then no problem trade only that. I don't know will this dance around my emotions and my personality fail as many plans before failed but I don't have many roads left any more so it's easier to chose.

Complete lack of control

What can I do then document facts. I started day with good things on my mind. I wrote on piece of paper "Where will be stop for this trade?", I had to read it and answer before I made a trade. I also "decided" to be cool and distant so I don't fall a prey of my emotions.
I shorted a bit late usd/jpy, I say late because I was ready to short it at 31 but I didn't pull a trigger. I got 9 pips on nice scalp.
Next one again in usd/jpy didn't work and in the end that was low for a day. I lost on that one -11 pips.
So now I was from nice positive scalp profit for a day slightly in red. So far to that point I kept my cool. This development of losing nice profit throw me out of a balance. I was looking to quickly find a trade so I could have again profit for a day. Minute later I was shorting eur/jpy without magic question where is my stop on that trade. I don't have a stop. Two minutes later with spike against me I added half size to be full margin in. Emotions completely took control. I could understand in my mind that it's not great trade going against eur that is rallying and going against usd/jpy that is bouncing from the low. So my eur/jpy short was stupid from the start. But once I'm in I will stay in, there is no getting out until I'm profitable when I'm deeply emotionally involved.
So I was at a mercy of my emotions or my ego, call it as you want. I really proved to myself that I can't rely on myself, trust myself and bypass destructive emotions. With all my will power and thought out "strategy" I failed.

-41 pips

Late to the party

I came late to the party and got burned. After first loss I didn't want to acknowledge my defeat so I lost some more. Pretty much I got what I deserved for that kind of trading.

-34 pips

Desperate for a profit

Again problem at break of previous low. Even it did get there market reversed and I didn't close. So I was in a loss failing to close it. Finally gbp/usd reversed back to the down side and I made very nice gain. I don't know which is correct answer to take 5 pips when I had them, to close at b/e, to close at small loss or full stop of 10. The way I played I went for three times bigger risk then I intended. It's probably problem of confidence, when I'm more confident in my trading I don't have a problem with some of mentioned options.
Later I went for a reversal trade with half size. It did look good judging from development in all pairs. I had thoughts of holding one of them but it's not my game and eur/gbp wasn't reversing which would be needed.

+32 pips