Loose trading

Today I on purpose decided to trade a little bit loose. Last days price action on small time frame just gives me false signals. So today instead I bet that first of all eur/usd will brake that consolidation channel to the upside and when I entered that trade with 1/3 size gbp/usd started to look interesting also. Maybe I was too big for swing trading with two 1/3 size positions but I stayed with that now when I started. Action on gbp/usd looked really promising between 10-11h. Bad thing with my strategy was that I entered at the highs like I'm in break out trades. After 11h gbp gave me headache but I didn't want to exit and was thinking that usually lately good price levels don't last, so somebody will pick it up. I averaged there.
Later when things finally went my way at least at gbp/usd I exit it because I was generally wrong today, at least for now. Eur/usd didn't break to the upside and now that up action isn't really strong so I took +14 full size pips. At worst point I was around -25 fs pips.

Unhappy

Today I reached low in trading, I averaged and when it didn't work I later averaged more from subaccount. I moved funds to subaccount to make averaging more difficult and look at me now.
Basically I expected that up move is just a bounce and that it will come back but getting -50 full size pips in the red is stupid.
Later I was doing bad again when I shorted on momentum, momentum vanished and I didn't want to get out. I exit that trade in profit when after brake of morning low price didn't speed up to the downside.
I wasn't completely wrong on my first set of trades nor second but it's not a way to handle things. Also I totally hate slow market as it was today in that last trade.

+18 full size pips

Not so good

Generally mixed day. I was positive but some surprises put me in the red. From that point I was trying to get back up. Then I got another surprise and deeper red, again getting back up. I was at +5 at the top and -27 at the bottom. I ended the day with -7 full size pips.

I can't show charts because Oanda today have some issues and doesn't show historical activity. There was so many trades that there's nothing to show, it would look kind of random.
Problem that I can pinpoint is jumping in trades unprepared, then I'm unprepared if it goes immediately against me. So I "can't" get out on reasonable stop. If loss occurs then sequence of "saving me" and getting back begins. If I'm concentrated and trade is deliberate I don't tend to do bad stuff that much, I'm much more in control. Saving is never good, because today it gave me back 20 pips but I could lose much more. So best would be to stay concentrated and avoid loose entries.

4/4

Nothing much to say just that my first trade of a day in gbp/usd was because I was trigger happy with residue in my mind from yesterday. I wanted to trade really bad, so I entered even if there was no reason on 10sec chart as you can see, I mean I jumped before it resumed down course. After I took that nice gain I felt good and could trade calm. Gbp with 1/3 and eur with 1/2. +16 full size pips.

Entitled to profit

I got hit so hard with emotions today. I had so great trade that I held deep in profit and it reversed on me 2 pips above my target which would be my +20 full size daily limit. I was lost at that moment, couldn't do anything but wait. I felt entitled to those profits and couldn't trade well any more. Reversal was quick and I tried to end all with another trade and quick test towards low. I didn't get it, I lost on both trades 20 full size pips. Later I was just lucky in my attempts to get me in black.
I guess that trading isn't about rules or knowledge, from one point it's just how much emotionally mature you are. Maybe money heightens all, because I don't think that I'm so immature, but maybe I am. First two trades were half size, others full size.
In the end +6 full size pips

Be quick or be dead

First I was watching market for hour and a half, I wasn't so interested in participating in slow grind. First two trades were perfectly positioned to bring momentum burst to the upside but it didn't came. Then there was news for EU and it was good surprise so I went long after spread came down. Gbp was also going up and eur/jpy, but gbp hit resistance and started to fall back so I quickly abandon long that was still looking great and shortly after went short. I had idea of big fall down, but then I always have big ideas so I took scalp profit instead. Fifth trade was possible beginning of continuation of trend, nothing. Then I got shaken with -8 loss very quick, trade after it was a bit emotional, I recovered some of the loss. Then I decided to be contrarian and to look for a place to buy even if price was falling in some kind of downtrend. Small loss and gain. Trades with 1/3 of size, +6 full size pips.

Small Monday trade

I've been busy lately so didn't have opportunity to trade. This morning I catch one with 1/3 of size while I was at work. It's hard trading on small laptop screen missing all the clues that I use at home on two monitors, plus I had distractions around me. I closed it below yesterdays low. I had plan to maybe add if it breaks down little bit different with other currencies and weakness in eur/gbp but I'm happy that this small trade turned positive.
+6 full size pips

Profitable day

I'm not really satisfied with how I played today. I let nice profit to go into a loss. I was counting on overall trend to take it back, but it's just not good trading for my style. I remembered about profit target for a day, I missed it on gbp/usd, marked with teal. Then I tried to get it in eur/usd but market came back and didn't take my order so I got out manually. I really didn't want to trade with profit caped today but I remember that I need this to trade better. It's a bit easier to practice discipline on capping profit for a day then on taking stops.
I never seen something like this on Oanda before, circled with yellow. It was like that on 10sec chart, bursts down and then back to where price was in millisecond. Gbp/usd trades 1/3 size, eur/usd 2/3 size. +17 full size pips

Exactly as planned

I caught nice little trade in slow and thin market. Sudden push down of 40 pips in 4 minutes, there was no bounce back up so I figured there may be some more downside. Based on 5min chart if last lows were going to be broken around 80 next support are previous highs at 70. It played exactly like that. Push back after my exit is reason why I like to grab profits when I have them and not use trailing stop or anything. I hope that I would exit this at -10 half size pips stop as I initially planned if that occurred.
+ 10 full size pips

Nonorthodox decision

When things go bad good ideas came to mind. Like today, I was able to see a lot's of bad things about my trading and then thought how to tweak things to make them more optimal. When you trade good you just trade, it's harder to think about changes, there is no need. Well today I finally decided on one thing that I will easily implement. I wanted to do that years ago but I always talk myself out of it. Before when I had daily goals I was near it. My new decision is to cap my upside potential. So I will stop trading when and if I achieve 20 full size pips in a day. With this decisions I'm putting out of commission a lot's of things that make me problems and turn me away from profitability. For example if I know that is the maximum I will take in a day I can't be mad because I didn't take more. I will not have a need to capture majority of daily range or big trend and I will not have frustration if I fail to take much. I will not count on some big trends to bail me out. I will not be able to justify big risks with dreams of big profits. I believe that this decision will organize things naturally and they will fall in it's place. I will have framework and then all I do will be more or less based on it.
I feel that possibility of bigger profit and my urge for it is basis for a lot's of mistakes that I've done today and on many other similar days and situations.

Until now I've done various things in my daily trades and my results varied too much. Idea of bigger payday for me is unprofitable. Because of my psychological characteristics, being noobie and amateur it turns out like some greed quest. I never cash on it but every other time because if it I make big damage. I will not lose much with capping my profit, I'm totally happy with 20 full size pips for a day so better to bring more conservatism in my trading. I act like I'm totally in control of situation, at least my inner feeling is that, but things totally fell apart because of that pseudo security in my abilities. Better to underperform and earn less and be safe and conservative then act reckless with false assurance in my abilities. So what if I'm able to do more but I chose to do less, to whom am I proving myself? Baby steps can be enough.

I'm not talking here about a down side and capping my losses. If I'm emotionally stable enough I would do that naturally. If I'm mad and emotional I don't have control of things so any decision now doesn't mean a thing. Generally 20-30 full size pips should be the most I lose in a day.

Bad decisions

Great day for trading and lot's of bad decisions. I managed to swing my p&l in full size pips from +7 to -8 to +11 to -49. I'm not bitter and angry because today I feel that everything I did is exact as is at my level of trading skill. I have good sides and good decisions but bad ones are also mine so no point in hiding from them.
First of all I opened second short after first trade in eur/usd and didn't know what to do with it. Adding to profitable trades isn't something that I'm good at.
Second I had long in gbp/usd that was a fake out. I let it go so much against me. That fear of a small loss and not handling each trade with reasonable stop is problem. Then I wanted to recover loss. So I went other direction and first got big retracement against me. Also I add similar trade in eur/usd. Things were getting shaky in Jen pairs and I really could see that there could be nice trend down in everything. Well when I had profit and things really went my way I just took profit to cover my previous loss.
Then I could see my mistake and went scalping against the trend. Later couldn't take losses, got whipshaved a lot and lose a lot by trading 2/3 size in gbp/usd.
I guess when I closed profitable positions and market seconds later made big run down that totally destroyed me. It's nothing wrong with taking premature profits but it's wrong if you say it's wrong.
I'm too much involved in what is overall going on in all the pairs and then lose perspective on my individual trades and profit and loss expectation in them. I also act like I need to take every possible pip that is there to take. I don't handle losses well and after them I take risky trades with motivation just to cover losses. When I fall in the hole I try to dig myself up but I dig myself deeper.
This really just is where I'm at, individually those things are not so hard and bad but when you combine them results is as today. I need to be consciousness of my boundaries and trade inside of them. I'm not capable to trade so freely and get good result from it. Probably all this unprofitable trading is needed to realize this things. This is my education.

New day

I had ugly situation in gbp/usd shorted it at bottom and getting reaction bounce. I was angry because I missed trade in eur/usd that I was waiting at that time because of a phone call. So I entered gbp/usd unprepared. I'm now by deafault trading eur/usd with half size and gbp/usd with third, so loss was about 10 full size pips not so bad. If it didn't return maybe the day would be bad one. Other bad calls that I regret were premature exit at 12:40 long eur and premature exit of last gbp/usd trade. Other trades were scalps by watching 10sec chart and developement in eur/gbp and eur/jpy.
+18 full size pips

Cycle

Another cycle is over. I've undone everything good that I made in it. Back at starting point. It happened many times already. Last year good faze would last for a month and now it was two weeks. One day of aimless and random trading. Things stopped working few trading days ago and now it's sealed.
As before I believe that it has nothing to do with trading. I can trade good and I can trade bad. After good start, good work I start looking just for money in my mind. I stop with work and basically trade randomly. If it goes my way good, if not I wait and lose too much. That is not so easy to mend because it's problem in personal beliefs system. Working with beliefs in any aspect of life is hard and slow.
New beginnings bring nothing new if everything stayed the same in my mind. Pendulum just swings back. That's what happened to today. How much you try to push it one one side it will come back as hard and you can't do anything about it. Only solution obviously is beliefs change, easier said than done.
-66 full size pips