Old game is in town

Yesterday I averaged on one of my losers and in no time I'm doing it today in full speed. It was nice last two weeks, as good trading as I can do it. Some mistakes also. Now when I'm averaging it means things are not good and red flag is up. Don't know exactly where things got wrong. Maybe in the fact that I wasn't trading at all in that new full size. So basically my plan of 100 pips a month with nice scalps and being able to afford all stops wasn't put in action. I was trading first with thirds and now with halves. So that means I need 200 pips if I want that satisfactory monthly income goal. If that is a case then nice scalp today of 12 pips wasn't enough. I "needed" more from it. Then soon enough I don't want to give away just earned profit in new trade entered just two minutes after. When it approach -30 pips I average to get advantage of situation, like I have guarantee that thing will not go against me. Well how can they go against me when I need more profit? Good thing from that decision two weeks ago is that I had no more margin to add few more positions because I certainly would. When you average you lose all sense of proportion so it's not a problem when first position is 50+ pips in red.
I was lucky and stupid enough to ride position back to profit and exit at b/e. Well I gave it a shot to break down previous low but it didn't. So now with +6 full size pips I call it for a day because I can see what am I doing and I know that I will continue with it.

Maybe the problem is in last few days when I started to push myself to make a profit. Like I need profit to feel good and I started to get addicted to it. Again, I don't know. This are just first thoughts. Now it's time to think, not to trade. Good thing it's Friday.

In the end I'm up around 50 full size pips in last two weeks, so I'm on the target. Just I don't like some ways how I came there. But I must not be too harsh to myself because I've done some very good trades over last two weeks. Like I said maybe my best trading so far.
Gbp/usd is down now 100 pips from my trades. Well on first day of my new plan I had some swing plays where I wasn't uncomfortable with big moves. Then 1/3 size was just that and I could risk 60 pips on it without a problem, but then I wouldn't be happy with 12 or 4 full size pips of profit.

Also I have a thought that last few days I was looking for big brake. Trade that will move 50 or more pips in my favor and I would have full size position on. I was really trying to find it. Things just don't work that way.

Now when I look at 5min chart that I uploaded after 60 minutes of action I can see that it was very nice positioned for swing trades on 5min chart. But I'm mixing styles. I'm scalping using 1min and 10 sec charts. With scalping 50 pips against you can't be tolerated however bearish things look at 5min chart. Maybe it's just a greed, I want to catch 5min chart swings using 10 sec chart. Instead of 10-20 pips on profit or loss side I look for 100 pips on profit side but don't want appropriate R. I want 10R profit!! Well....