Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Real me

You want to see real me that I'm ashamed off. Trading in the worst kind, pure basic human psychology of fear and greed. This is it.
Funny how after fear of a loss kick in fear of missing profit. So first fear drive me in a loss where I don't get out and average. Second fear show it's face when I'm in a profit with big position. No win situation.

I had some reasons for the trades. First off that short was because eur/usd touched downside of triangle on big t/f. So I bet on test of that again. It went deep against me I averaged when it came to previous lows. I didn't understand how it can go 50 pips after such a downtrend so easily. Then it started to go my way but now I didn't know what to think. I took profit just for the sake of profit.
Then I got idea that it all look so orchestrated because other pairs didn't move. Eur was crushed in eur/chf and eur/gbp. It was like someone is pushing to make break out of that triangle just to get reaction on that. So I now went long because it looked bogus. Well it break down I still didn't believe it because other pairs were not dramatic at all. Just eur/usd. Averaging game begin again and with it strong emotions. This emotions are so strong and I was wondering why. I'm risking here some dollars and feel fear like I'm at war and death is near and imminent. Also funny thing is that I'm feeling so hard emotions and I don't want to quit. I don't want to get out on b/e for the day. NO, I want profit as reimbursement for all that pain. It's all in vain if I don't get it. I'm also thinking that there are nicer way to make money, what am I some kind of masochist when I'm choosing this.

And while I write this all that idea of bogus push is validated. Eur/usd is trading 40 pips above my exit and back in the range. Well I guess that for this kind of ideas which are basically swing trades I can't trade with this kind of leverage and stop loss points. Greed is the reason for it because it doesn't look interesting enough if I put the trades of proper size that I'm comfortable with the risk if I average so many times. This is just wandering, mixing styles, ideas.
Also when I'm deep down in a loss I swear to myself that this time I will hold it if it goes my way, that it will pay off. I never do.

This is real chronicle of emotional roller coaster that trading gives to amateur trader.

0|27, -9|11|28 pips
0|1.35, -045|0.55||1.4 R

57 pips, 2.85 R


4x For Life said...

Your doing good these days keep it up


I do not have time to read this because the wife will be home soon, but I will man.


Your walking that line bro... Remember how I noticed that breaking the rules seems to be a multi day event for us?

If you know yourself (like I know you do) you would have recognized this and taken a course of prevention.

Its not funny, but in a way it is, I see so much opportunity in those charts, yet when your trades are laid over them I ask "why?"

You are up this month well, maybe you should take a break and let the emotions settle? I can't wrap my head around how you haven't felt enough pain yet to stop averaging. Lord willing I will never do that again.

FX said...

Good to see you 4x :D

You are right orion about multi day event. From the start of the year I started with braking rules I had before and now it's like out of control.

neon said...

FX: Thanks for writing so nicely your overall emotions about your trades. Describing fear and greed and your mistakes. Great learning lesson for me, newbie.

Btw I learned to really love the worst that happen to me (but not so bad that I wouldn't survive them :)), because I realised that mostly because my bad moments in life, I have improved the most. It seems there's not many other options than real experience (preferably repeated) in life :)

And also.. I am testing Orion style and it's total easy when the price start to launch in any direction. There's nothing better than to be always on the right side, as Orion says :)
Sorry for being so clever, I write this also for me, for later reference how was I thinking :)

FX said...

Hi neon I like your comment because I share same view about that bad things help to improve most. I like orion's method also and was thinking about using it but for some reasons I don't and I accept that.