December 2009. and year end results

+147 pips

+23.5 %



Year
-22 %

I can scalp profitably, that's what I learned this year. I had few very good months doing that. There is no reason to jeopardize it with problematic trading, but I still do that. I guess it's a slow process.

In a meanwhile I got tired of my approach. Which was that I'm growing my account with compounding planing that in a few years that will give me real wealth. Well it's just my dream and reality is different. In reality after few positive weeks or months I non mistakenly lose all profits in a single day. All work is gone, profits are gone and my dream of compounding growth is back where it began. So I realized that is what's making problems for me. I'm not trading for profit, for present moment. I'm lost in some dreams and plans. I built myself golden calf of amount of money in my trading account and I'm worshiping it.
Now I'm abandoning that approach. Money at account is only margin which allows me to trade and profits are wired to my bank account. I need to get accustomed on earning money from trading. That is basic. In my head I had it all figured out, but things don't work that way, at least not for me. I need to put this in exact spot where it belongs, money making venture and not wealth building mechanism. Difference is slight but for me very important. Like we all know it's all up to psychology and for me this is where I was wrong.

All of that realisation came with thinking about that last big loss. When things settled, in my mind was only how much money I throw down the drain. I did earn them trading two months previous to that day, but it was money which I could use for some other stuff. It wasn't plastic chips or points score in some game. So I understood what foolish act was that from real world perspective disregarding pips and percentages. So I came to conclusion it's all foolish if I earn profits (money) then lose it, earn then lose. I'm not advancing in my get rich scheme. I'm just guilty of the sin of idolatry. It's pretty much bizarre that my worship idol was my trading account. So now I'm dethroning it considering it now just a margin for my positions. My profits are going to my bank account becoming cash that I can spend or save.
I expect from this change to finally earn some money from trading making that my new objective.

Short video with $300 budget lands $30 million movie deal in Hollywood

Fede Alvarez - Ataque de Panico (Panic Attack)

Playing cowboy

There is no doubt that I would lose much more then I gained if things didn't go my way. First two trades full in eur/usd and half size in gbp/usd psychologically were not enough even that I gained 18 pips on them. I was trading for the rush with two full positions on gbp/usd that were hoovering around my entry.
Let's say it's a therapy for yesterday, even if it could be costly one.

+44 pips

Several problems and mistakes today

First I had bias that eur/usd will go down, at least to test 4500. I wanted to short at 530 but some kind of uptrend showed. Then I shorted at 550, also too early. After 40 minutes in not performing trade I complicated things with long gbp/usd. It was showing strength and it was like a hedge in case that eur/usd go up more. Well I got bigger losing trade. Somehow I found a moment to cut them both and with small profit on eur it was -5 for all.

So I missed move down in eur/usd that I was anticipated. I shorted eur/usd again and got instant loss -8. Then gbp/usd again fly up and I got in long at the spike. I averaged that trade and was in for 40 minutes with it attempts to break up and building pressure. It wasn't good trading but I stayed. Finally at around 9:17h gbp was at break out point in gbp/usd, gbp/jpy and eur/gbp and it reversed. I didn't cut it on time because I was afraid that it's just spike. Four minutes later I was out. Then I had some nonsense trades that were product of frustration.

Even if eur/usd worked in the end for my anticipated direction that trading is not for me. As I had opinion about eur and listen to it I had later about gbp. When I have opinions I trade by them, good or bad opinions and I ignore the price. So better to skip trading with opinions, I was proved wrong today on account of that kind of trading.

Also I would like to mention that letting loss grow was consequence of building up profits in last two, three weeks. So it felt like I have spare and I can afford to lose. Which is very wrong attitude to have.

-62 pips

Eur/usd breaking down

Very clean scalping. I like that when I don't even think will it go more or not, what will happen next. I just take small profit and watch for the next one.

+19 pips

Pound scalping

Very good scalping except last trade. Range got bigger and I was step to lose all profits so far in move against me. I couldn't cut it because range was still valid and in the end downside prevailed but it would be better if that was half size trade. I was mentally tired and took just small profit out of it to quit for today.
Also I would like to mention first trade that was short after 40 pips drop in a less then a minute. It was scary, first and second trade, just because of prior move scale.

+20 pips

Scalping Euro

On two of those trades I had 5 pips slippage against me at the entry, it wasn't nice experience. First at that third trade which was add on position. I shorted at the same place as previous trade but I got filled deep down. Also at second chart third trade same thing. Oanda's connection was little shaky also. I don't know maybe things are like that in the afternoon which I rarely trade.

+19 pips

Early morning II

I'm very satisfied with today's trading session. Just out of bed checking charts and short in gbp/usd was laying itself down. I took 18 pips. Second one didn't work out and I was quick to take opposite direction move in third trade.

I'm much like Jules with having strong emotional response because of the trades. I think that is especially prone to scalping. I would like to trade more but I'm not calm any more. Impact of trades is in my mind and my emotional setup is changed. In this new state I'm not optimal for trading. I would like to know how to reset that, but I don't how. It seems to me that I take every day as one session and have a relationship with day's p&l. I almost feel guilt that I'm not trading more, like I should work harder. Well I know myself and that it's better to move away now.

+28 pips

Early morning

First I had nice trade with half size in gbp/usd of 23 half size pips. I went in half size because it was early and price was jumpy.
Then I shorted eur/jpy and got heat for fifteen minutes. I guess that burned me out. When it finally continued my way I took too small profit. I chickened even though I was looking at 5min chart and expecting break of previous low. Then after 20 pips I re shorted getting nothing.
Then I looked back to gbp/usd that was making lows and shorted at exact low. After another attempt to break it it failed and I didn't get out. I let it go 28 pips against me before I pulled the plug. That is again me getting chickened to take a loss. At that point I reversed expecting really strong bounce from those lows. Well I was expecting getting my profit back to be honest. I even averaged up which was done for wrong reasons especially because I didn't got out of second position after it stop working for me. So there it was pure gambling with double position after having nice profit of 18 pips for a day and then losing 28 giving me -10 plus double sized gamble. It played out in my favor so I recovered previous loss and got some more pips finishing day at +30 pips. I can't say that I'm satisfied with this trading. It's mixed, good and bad. Best thing would be if I finished day after eur/jpy trade because I was worn out being in a loss on it for too long.

+30

I got reminded why I shouldn't trade too long

First in the morning I had very nice scalps even though I missed the biggest move down. Speed of market was just as I like it for scalping.
I had one small try in gbp/usd also but that didn't work. In the morning I managed to collect 18 pips.

Later there were some scalping and half size trade in gbp/usd. Then I shorted eur/usd about 14h and that didn't work. So I changed direction and took to small profits. Again I changed direction and I was wrong. I even averaged down in last short, losing all my morning profits in a move against me.
Then market gave me opportunity to get out. I was already trading very mediocre so I didn't want to check out what will be the next. I think that five hours is too long for me in front of the charts and that I shouldn't trade more after nice sequence like it was in the morning on account of my degraded performance in later trades.
That's why I had in my rules to stop trading for a day after few nice wins

+23 pips

Trending gbp

In the end I started too micromanaging so I didn't take out much. But it's always like this if I'm scalping so I accept it. Better for me is to miss on potential for more then to look for too much and miss the scalps.


+25 pips

November 2009. results

-37.5%

- 265 pips

I hate writing this up.