Some new thoughts

To be frank I became tired of my way of trading. You know all this averaging and running bigger risks when things don't turn my way. In few weeks since I returned I got nice results if we look at pips won. But it's majority done by such gruelling trading. The important thing is that if I trade like this I will never be able to trade bigger positions that way. Emotional pressure and stress is so big now with small positions that I could never behave that way with ten times bigger position and financial risk. I need a way to trade more relaxed with defined boundaries so I don't get stressed out. Before when I had such thoughts my main motivation was to stop losing money because I got hit to hard. Well now it's not so much about that. I want more efficient way of trading, without so much emphasis on how much I win but with strict control of my losses.
This new thoughts came when I was thinking about some money in savings account. I calculated that I get less then 4 pips a month for it in interest if I look at things in forex relation and leverage factor of ten. So I'm thinking why am I happy with this? In my much smaller forex account I think about four pips as nothing, so why couldn't I earn doing forex trading instead of interest that I get. Well, no way that I would have courage to swing this big positions with way that I trade. So I see that there is no long turn success with things how are aligned now. I should learn to trade much safer so I will be able to take my size up. With averaging and moving stops there is no way I would dare.
So let put aside orientation toward bigger gains in a week of let's say 50 pips that I had in mind last few weeks. I can have a goal of 10-20 pips a week with safer and much more controlled trading. I would probably be stopped out on many of my trades that I turn in to winners with bigger risk. But if I succeed and became profitable in quality trading that could mean much more long term. I really don't know will I be able to do it taking in consideration my past performance. But I really am eager to go for it. I really got bored of big risks and unpredictability of my reactions. So much that it seams to me that I lose interest in trading more and more with such behavior.

Today was pretty much slow day. I did trade according with tighter risk in mind, somewhere got to be first step.
+5 pips