So what happened today?

I was trading well, no moving stops, taking stops, letting profits run for some time, scalping and I was at +43 pips. In the morning I had 7 trades, of that 2 losses.

Than later I took a half size trade, didn't want to take 10 pips profit on it. Didn't get out at b/e, I was counting that I have a room. I moved stop and it free fall. Than I realized that by mistake it wasn't half size trade but full size. I lost it in my head and went directly in panic save me mode, disaster mode. Some averaging and I finished day at -207 pips.

I don't want to put charts because it doesn't have anything with reason, my trades. Now I feel mixed. Again big loss, again averaging and all usual. On the other hand I was trading well in the morning, taking stops, waiting for good setup and all. I should feel down because I had -10% loss but I look at it that it will only take little longer to come back.

I now really want to trade with stops, I want to scalp because if anywhere I have an edge than it's in scalping. No matter will I be positive or negative, let's put that behind.
I guess this is struggle inside of me in moving away from bad discipline. It definitely isn't easy and mistakes are so costly. I don't see any sense in moving stops and averaging. I just can say to me that I forgive myself doing that today. It's pure addiction withdrawal.