Update

Yesterday I had another irrational development in trading accompanied with a sizable loss. I made new plan after that, but today I realized that nothing was wrong with my previous plan. If I enter in a state off unconsciousness when I trade and do stuff against my will no plan will help me overcome this. It's more structural. So I'm from this morning in shut down mode that I had few times before. That means I'm not trading, I don't have time schedule when will I start trading or will I start trading. That doesn't mean that I don't want to trade. Deprivation of that kind is doing me good. I'm not feeding my problem with new energy and also I'm more arouse of dealing with it because I'm deprived of something that I love.

I broke the rules

I can't be to harsh to myself because I was trading by the rules majority of the day and it wasn't easy. In the end I was probably too emotionally drained and it would be better that I didn't trade any more.
On my first trade I was so in the rules that I cut the trade -8 at the spike. So in next trade I had to recover that and make more. I was so mad when it reversed from 65 the first time. I was positive that it will broke down. Well it didn't for the whole day.
Marked with yellow is where I slipped. I didn't cut the trade at -10 and I let it go -25. When you brake one rule you will break them all. So I let it past -20 which is second violation and finally I averaged in that trade. It got to train myself to follow rules. It will not happen over night. I made exceptions and I got rewarded for those bad decisions.
-8+17-6+6+2-7+16 = 20

Experiment

Today I approached trade like I had no trade before, like it's first one. It was experiment because I made decision that it will be scalp with 5-6 pips stop. I would exit it if it come back to 590, except if it is just a spike in 10sec move. So I had my finger on the trigger and no hard stop on that level. I need to see that I can exit where I say so before the trade. There was spike next minute approaching my level and in following minutes I had thoughts to close it because it's not performing. But I than came back to the fact that it is 5pips s/l so b/e is not an option now. I was looking to 5-10 pips and was lucky that first wave pull down nicely so I took 17 pips. It's like 3R on stated stop.

Reasonable but bad

I could exit second position at some point because it didn't work, trend didn't pick up after it. Also I could just cut first position when it didn't work in first place. Third I didn't need those second set of trades but I opened them because I got shaken at the low and I gave them 5 pips s/l, they could mean -10 pips more.

On a good note I was using stops and didn't get too frustrated over all this. Small steps.

-18-10+5+5=-18 pips

Business as usual

Trade in red, maneuvering around stops. Digging in deeper. Averaging, bigger positions. Wrong decisions. End of day -130 pips. Thinking that I can't do it like that any more and that I need to change things.

It's inertia that is driving me now. I can't stop this so easily.

Dark clouds over Europe

Today news in Europe were not so bad but feeling of kind of dark clouds was present. So I opened charts and saw that Oanda lowered their spread from 10 to 3 very early and I decided to maybe try my "feeling" trade. In that moment chart started to fall so I enter immediately. It was smaller size trade with R of 30 not usual 20 pips. Target level on first chart was based on next support level on second 1h chart.
I guess that I got tired sitting in it after one hour and things didn't really fell apart like I had idea that they will. So I took profit of 30 pips or 1R. I had feeling that after 580 560 will come in a spike. It didn't and I closed. Now while I write after 10 minutes price is down 10 pips more but I really expected big spiky fall from the start. Maybe I don't know how to trade on this longer term charts. I'm satisfied with profit and maybe things are not so doom like. Also I can't trade as Masteroftheuniverse and skip sleep sometimes.

31 pips, 1R