April 2012. results

-118 pips
-40 %

My trading with nano account  continues in similar fashion. It's now near to paper trading. So monetary it doesn't mean anything so results are easily that bad. Basically I'm just trying out ideas and looking  for style that will suit me.

I started trying out things on longer time frames on even smaller subaccount. This is like first time in my trading history that I made four separate longer term trades. It's nothing spectacular, I basically don't know how to behave on longer time frames but it's somehow interesting for me. On four trades I'm at -2R. More about them in next post. It could have been better, but I managed trades not so good.

Rest of the month

April 9.

-7 pips

April 10.
-20 pips
I stayed inside daily stop. Too much momentum seeking trades when there is no momentum. I'm used to trading like this and do it when it's not appropriate. But my first goal is to stop trading when my daily stop is hit, today I did that without resistance.
I believe that when I get to trust myself about daily stops that it will get me relaxed and open up to a whole new level of non anxious trading. Then results will follow. So first step is respecting daily stop. If I managed to get rid of widening my individual stops I can do this also.

April 12.

-16 pips
Sometimes I can say I don't have sightless idea of what I'm doing.

April 13.
+8 pips
Insane how much time for + or - 6 pips move.

April 16.
-19 pips
Losing machine.

April 18.
-6 pips

April 20.
- 12 pips

April 24.
+6 pips

April 25.
-29 pips

April 26.
+13 pips
Stupid to keep scalp stops in situation like this when I'm not scalping. Serious problem is mixing trading styles. 

April 27.
-25 pips
I'm getting angry because I don't take scalp profits. If I'm going against the trend for any reason and have some profit on hand I should simply take it. This is not scalping, nor daytrading.

Same old

-42 pips
Nothing has changed from the start of this blog. Same behavior. I can't say same mistakes because something that you do for years isn't a mistake. It's what I do, nature, habit.
I just continued my yesterday's day. Trading eur/jpy against the trend looking for some reversal for the sake of the idea. Like I'm a winner if reversal come's no matter how much I lose in the meantime. I know very early in the trading day that it's not good at all. Bu I don't stop. I literally enjoy in excitement. It's same excitement that you get ridding roller-coaster. I tried that for the first time few months ago in Las Vegas. You are scared and it's extremely uncomfortable but at the same time exciting. I took the ride eight or nine times in a row. You don't get that with good profitable trades. Being scared is missing. So I'm just thrill seeker pretending that I want to earn money, but instead I want first of all a thrill. I need to stay in denial and telling myself that I'm here because of the money, it wouldn't work otherwise. It's not untrue that I want money, who doesn't. But I can't resist my urges, I'm just following strong emotions.
After so many year I don't mind it that much. I'm used to it. I would also really like to progress beyond this. That's why I stay at trading. It's a challenge to change myself. Or I'm saying that to myself just to have my cheep thrill.

I have to add now after hour and a half when emotions are cooled off. Do you have thoughts after day like this I will not do it again, this is my last time, form now on I will do it differently? They are just part of the same equation.
I believe that's how they portray addicts. 

Start of the April

2. April

+2 pips
It's unfortunate when I get tangled looking for reversal. Trend down in eur/jpy maybe wasn't strong but getting profit going against it isn't easy at all.Usually then I fantasize about enormous swing trade of fifty or hundred pips. Truth is that probability is not on my side at that time.

3. April

+10 pips
 In the evening after I came home found nice move and interesting support ready for break.

4. April
+19
I can see some improvements in how I feel while I trade. I'm little bit more detached and less dependent on my emotions. I don't jump on every tick when I have trade, but I give it opportunity to do it's job if I think that conditions are favorable.
Problems with too tight range in eur/usd so moves just aren't worth the trouble. My trading of eur/jpy isn't that good. Too big spread for scalping and I react too much, not staying in the trade when I should.

March 2012. results

- 58 pips
- 28 %

March

March 2.

-1 pip

March 5.
-4 pips

March 6.
+33 pips
Too tight stop in eur/jpy took me out from monster move, I switched in eur/usd. I was stubborn didn't want to get out in first part where I was making and losing open profit.

March 7.

-20 pips
I made two mistakes in my first two trades and then when my idea proved right and I wasn't in I got so angry. After that I had angry trades trying to correct my initial mistakes, which is impossible, but that's how I'm wired. Slowly I'm depicting to myself my inner subconscious wiring that need to be amended but it's far from easy.
So in my trading I have mixed bag of trades and emotional response driven trades.

14. March
-33 pips

I was plain wrong but really wanted to trade. Market wasn't in the mood for moves, so it was all wishful thinking. Only one positive trade, but I got what I wanted, many trades. So no point in complaining.

22. March

-2 pips
Too early, not patient enough.

27. March
-31 pips
Bad